Never Allow Kindness to Degenerate Into Weakness
By Saint Therese   

We should never allow kindness to degenerate into weakness. When we have scolded someone with just reason, we must leave the matter there, without allowing ourselves to be touched to the point of tormenting ourselves for having caused pain or at seeing one suffer and cry.

To run after the afflicted one to console her does more harm than good. Leaving her to herself forces her to have recourse to God in order to see her faults and humble herself. Otherwise, accustomed to receiving consolation after a merited reprimand, she will always act, in the same circumstances, like a spoiled child, stamping her feet and crying until her mother comes to dry her tears."

St. Therese of the Child Jesus, Her Last Conversations
(Washington, D.C. Institute of Carmelite Studies, 1977)

 

Comments  

 
0 # Veronica Kull 2012-04-20 12:12
As I taught my sons:
Meek is not weak;
Humble is not mumble.
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0 # Cam 2012-04-20 12:20
WOW! This is what I have been trying to get through to my husband. He always takes the children's side; especially our daughter. She knows he will cover and apologize and not want to hurt her feelings and it leaves me frustrated and looking like I don't count. He seems ineffective and the children know it. St. Therese of the Child Jesus, pray for us. Thanks in advance.
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+1 # gloria ornelas hall 2012-04-20 12:25
Weakness comes from fear. It is not kindness that must be curtailed, but trust- that must be enhanced.
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0 # Elaine Gorea 2012-04-20 12:58
This link is one of the best for youth and pre-teens alike. We need more like them to help our youth/pre-teens make decisions they will not regret.
For anyone who can afford a donation, know it will be put to good use by these students.
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0 # Charlie Wical 2012-04-20 13:35
I used to listen to "Talk from the Heart" by Protestant pastor Richard Buehler. The best advise from him: understanding the difference between love and approval - that one can disapprove of another's certain behaviors, yet still love them on the whole. On a more ultimate plane, we believers know that forgiveness comes with repentance.
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0 # John 2012-04-20 14:29
I appreciate this message today. One of my young adult employees--she turned 21 this past weekend--has been discovering how adult life and responsibility can be a real pain. She wasn't happy to hear that I couldn't make life easy for her.
I don't think she yet understands how her attitude toward me doesn't help her plight.

She needs some prayers.
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0 # Ginger West 2012-04-20 15:10
God, in His infinite wisdom, provided this consolation right after I wrote to my CATHOLIC THEOLOGIAN and only sister in defense of Bishop Jenkey's remarks (teaching the TRUTH) in his homily last Sunday. Thank you! I know God uses ALL THINGS for HIS GOOD. We just have to continue to lay down our lives as know the first Apostles did - in imitation of Christ. (Remember - it all revolved around "disobedience to the Government?"
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0 # urban mbithi 2012-07-11 07:58
Ginger, why not share Bishop Jenkey's homily.
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0 # Vicente R. Gotingco 2012-04-20 16:13
Areprimand said in a low tone voice without resorting to raising of hands to the extent of inflicting physical harm.
Point out the mistakes commited and resolve the issues.
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0 # Marilyn Finnigan 2012-04-20 17:42
I think this is very true. I think the key to this justification is "scolded with just reason". If this is so there should be no guilt and hence wanting to make things right.
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0 # Mary Beth Bajis 2012-04-20 20:31
This was very enlightening. The next time I have to reprimand my sons (who are old enough to know better) I will not be the one to run after them, call them or text them to console them. They will be on their own to think what exactly they did wrong. Why young men and women need to get in your face and disrespect you I have no idea. But it happens. I ask God to help my sons know Him and love Him even more than I do. Thank you. I needed to see that.
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0 # flavia 2012-04-21 08:39
very good
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-1 # John Early 2012-04-21 09:34
Sorry, but I never thought this wounded young woman should ever have been made a saint. St. Teresa of Avila, definitely yes, but this, "St. Theresa of the Child Jesus", no.
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0 # Michelle 2012-05-22 11:25
St.Therese of the Child Jesus IS Therese of Avila. She was one in charge of many nuns and had to exercise alot of good judgement in directing them. Hence, this quote. In regards to St. Theresa the Little Flower, she is not the wounded young woman being mentioned. And her "little way" of sanctity is definitely worthy of canonization. She had to overcome her imperfections and sensitivities, and she did to a great extent, and that is why she is such a great example to the rest of us to follow. I would encourage you to give her "little way" another consideration.
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0 # michael a. bimonte 2012-04-21 09:39
so true, this is why, for instance, it is
so difficult to be a good parent in todays' society. Someone far wiser than myself once said: "when you give a child
everything, you give them nothing."
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0 # William M. Grothus 2012-04-21 11:18
EXCELLENT!!!
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-1 # Kenyi 2012-04-21 14:58
Never Allow Kindness to Degenerate Into Weakness
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0 # Charles Lucas 2012-04-22 11:04
That is where the term "tough love" comes from. Kindness is a great quality, but it often is seen as weakness. That interpretation is only true if the kind person being abused. Kindness must be tempered by strength of charactor, common sense and a srict set of rules and punishment. If one does not value life they can not love or live a happy life. Gangs are the best example I can think of to make this point. A collective group for betterment can know love or at least compassion. I look at gangs as NAZI's. The whole exists to bring profit and supposed pretige to the group and mostly to their leadership. We live ,but we don't learn.
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0 # Pat Robo 2012-04-23 10:45
This is so true- many times we apt to back down on something we know if justified. Changes may take place without compromises our values,
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0 # Frances Granger 2012-04-24 13:14
How very true !! and will follow this example if called upon to do so , thank you dear St. Therese of the Child Jesus .
Praise be to God .
Frances , Scotland
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0 # Theresa Kuzawski 2012-04-25 20:42
my protest
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0 # don 2013-01-08 16:42
now aint that the wisdom of the ages,no doubt there are many gems of wisdow to come from her. (google)!!
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